So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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