Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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