this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
