I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
