What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
