dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
