come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
