summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize