is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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