your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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