Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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