Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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