my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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