so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
