My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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