I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
