It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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