problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
