I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
