so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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