that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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