her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
