i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
