Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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