I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
