Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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