wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
They have beer where we have blood.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
