I cockslap morals
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
