Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
