Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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