Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
