I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think I sprained my soul last night
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
