Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
