He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
