I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He kissed a someone with a penis
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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