dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
