Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
