why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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