we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize