as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
