Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
