Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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