Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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