At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
