i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
