So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
