i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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