I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
