took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
