Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize