I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
