who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
