These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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