JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
