Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
