so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
