if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
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