U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
