my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
