his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
